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Kids TV and Wine?

Some suggestions to see you through the rest of lockdown…

Kids TV….

In theory, home schooling is a brilliant idea. In practice, it’s been a disaster of epic proportions. Right from the beginning we embraced this education lark with typically misguided enthusiasm. The early warning signs were there as Christine’s pelvic floor was tested to its limit by Joe Wicks and I was reminded that I hadn’t done a burpee since I left high school. We even had a weekly plan written on the IKEA chalk board in textbook middle class fashion just like on Facebook. That, I’m afraid is where the social media comparisons ended and deep hatred for the perfect social media mums kicked in. We all look up to them but soon develop a deep loathing, you know the ones….

Baking? I’m still scraping the chocolate off the ceiling. Gardening? Little precious decided we needed a pond so I now have 2 meter wide half-finished pit with some transformers in it. Sports? The lawn is gubbed, will never recover. Sewing? Nearly ended up in A&E. Foreign language? “What’s hello in French” “Ho hee Ho hee ho” in, to be fair, a pretty decent French accent (B+)

We all promised not to do it, in week one we never admitted it to anyone that it happened but the dirty little secret is out now. We gave up, gave in and told them to watch the bloody TV whilst we got stuck into some continental style lunchtime wine drinking.

Power Rangers

Power Rangers is a full on assault on the senses. 5 immaculate, Disney teen high school kids quickly produce blades that would scare a Glaswegian and in a blaze of hypnotic flashes, jumps, kicks and intense noise (Just noise, lots of NOISE) fight against all sorts of men in really bad costumes. You need something big and strong to quickly numb all your sensory parts. You need: Syrah ‘Wild Boar’ Consolation

Paw Patrol

Paw Patrol is a jumbled mess of a cartoon. An extremely well-financed rescue service operated by puppies (Are there child dog labour laws?) come to the aid of dim witted village idiots who get into all sorts of mishaps. A woman and a chicken feature heavily. You really need some extreme escapism wine to go with this. Something that will whisk your mind to another place. I’d get a happy picture of Lake Garda in my mind and go: Nunzio Ghiraldi Lugana

The Octonauts

Rip roaring underwater adventure with the best theme tune bar none. It’s actually brilliant and educational so acceptable to watch for 6 hours straight. If you can get the kids on this then you can pat yourself on the back and reward yourself with something classy like: Meyer Fonne Cremant d’Alsace

Peppa Pig

Kill me now! Thankfully mine have grown out of this but if you’re knees deep in Peppa my heart goes out to you. If you’re in the early stages of Peppa then you need to shut it down NOW! Shut it down before it takes over. The back rolling laughter and muddy puddles is only funny for 2 episodes max. I love drinking Beaujolais with roast pork so I’d be sipping some of this whilst dreaming of the spit roast. You’ve got to have this: Beaujolais ‘Le Ronsay’ Jean Paul Brun

Go Jetters

The world really needs the Go Jetters right now to sort out Grandmaster Glitch AKA Donald Trump. What would be better than four hooded onesie wearing adventurers, sorting out the world’s environmental issues with a talking unicorn, accompanied by a banging disco theme tune?  You got to go as Organic and natural as possible here. Try: Cotes du Rhone l’Ancienne Ecole

With another official three week lockdown ahead and if it all becomes a bit too much, we have MIXED CASES on our online shop. It takes away all the decision making and lets you sample some treats you would not have tried before.

Joking aside, we hope you all stay safe, stay well and stay at home. We are still offering UK wide delivery, free for orders over £100.

p.s We recommend you always drink responsibly, especially around the kids 😉

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